It is now about just about a month since I attended a workshop at the wonderful Ayurveda Yoga centre in nearby Daegu. It coincided with the Thyroid Summit, a huge, 7-day free online seminar featuring a collection of some very dedicated, passionate nutritionists, naturopaths, medical scientists and ex-GP's who spoke about various aspects of thyroid health and related issues.
Even though I had been trying to alter my diet for what seems like ages before that, the info I got during those two events helped to guide me in the direction of the journey I am on right now. My boyfriend of 1 year and 11 days broke up with me 2 weeks before the yoga centre workshop started. For a few days I didn't eat or sleep very well, but coming out of that I forced myself to buy a few basic supplements and try to take better care of myself. The break-up was just the final straw and a kind of catalyst at the end of a cycle of events that left me feeling quite broken. I had to take charge, I had to feel better. At that point all I wanted to do was sleep. I would nap after school and then be unable to sleep at night. I was extremely tired ALL the time. I discovered that I was more irritable and snappy than I remember being before. This is not normal! Nothing interested me, I wasn't motivated to do anything, I didn't see anyone (part of the problem was that all my friends had left Korea, so I was feeling quite alone and miserable). This might just sound like depression, but I knew I wasn't depressed, this was something else.
So the journey back started that day in the supermarket, reluctantly buying groceries and stopping at the supplements shelf. Next came the workshop and the seminar, where I gained more knowledge and insight into thyroid functioning and disorders than, sadly, GP's get in their entire medical training. I realised that cutting out wheat, dairy and sugar from my diet would probably solve a lot of problems. I had already tried to cut these down, but I wasn't doing so well on the wheat and I bloody love cheese - even though here in Korea it is scarce and expensive, which means I eat a lot less of it than I used to. It's a constant process of elimination, and it's been tough, because eating out and even eating lunch at my school suddenly got a hell of a lot more complicated. Some days I'd look at the food in the school cafeteria and just laugh and walk out. It was a joke amongst my friends, "What do you eat, woman?"
I stuck it out, made the small changes I needed, like not buying soya milk, no wheat at all (except the crumbs on the occasional indulgence of fried chicken - Korea is SO good at that!), no added refined sugar. This is especially tricky in Korea, as they LOVE adding sugar and corn syrup to everything. Potatoes, sauce on fish (!), inside some of my favourite dishes - it's everywhere. Even the potato chips here are sweet - it's quite bizarre. So I've take to cooking at home even more than before. Some recipes do need the added sweetness, so I compromise and use honey or maple syrup. I am also not in a position to throw out the things I have at home and just buying new EVERYTHING. Besides, a little fruit sugar now and then and some honey is not the main cause of my problems.
I think I'm getting the hang of it. After a consultation with my yoga teacher last week, I am now once again pretty much avoiding white rice. I had temporarily gone back to eating it in moderate amounts when I first cut out wheat as it's mostly a choice of rice or noodles everywhere you go.
Anyway, not wanting to make this post too long - after just 3 weeks I was starting to feel better. The extreme, inexplicable fatigue is gone. The weird muscle and joint pains and inflammation that lasts for months is pretty much completely gone. The psoriasis/dry scalp is about 99% gone. I got up, started cleaning my house again and the effort as well as the self-love, the care of my space, the shift in energy, has made me feel better. I ordered a thyroid supplement(Thyroid Energy) and Omega oils from iHerb and have been taking that for just over a week - it's an enormous help, my energy levels are better and I feel healthier. I think I may be smaller - but that always takes a long time for me to notice, so not too sure yet. But usually when I start to notice, other people have been commenting on it - I haven't seen any of my 'old' friends in a while, so I don't know.
Overall, what I feel is important to say at this point is that this process for me is as holistic as it comes. This is not just a thyroid issue. This is my entire life coming to a point where it felt like it stopped, and then started to move in a new direction. I am being moved to heal decades-old issues. I am being tested and proven in a whole lot of different fires. The energy shift is intense, and requires a lot of self-love and dedication. I fuck up sometimes, and that's OK too. I am trying to control my potty-mouth, as this is yet another way that things are manifesting or being expressed, and it becomes a habit that determines how we think and relate to the world, and it changes the energy. I see this in the way my animals react when I start with the strings of expletives that would make Debra Morgan proud. So that's an ongoing battle.
Little by little. Getting there. :)
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